Jack

Last night while waiting to fall asleep I had an urge to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas and I was trying to remember if it's meant to be a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie. I just remember them singing "This is Halloween, this is Halloween" and that makes me lean toward the former. Maybe I'll check the movie out at the library and watch it with Traci on Friday along with our plans to watch Hocus Pocus--which I must admit is the coolest Halloween movie of all time. Or at least all my friends and I loved it back when it came out when we were in second grade or whatever. Yes, we used to pretend we were witches and had magical powers to open difficult tuperware at lunch.

So, it's the 27th already and I have not carved my pumpkin into a Jack O' Lantern. Maybe that spurred my thinking of the main character in The Nightmare Before Christmas. Good ol' Jack. Oh. That reminds me. I found a great pumpkin a couple weeks ago that has a sweet lightning shaped scar in exactly the right place... he will soon be Harry Potter. :) Hooray for Halloween!

Who are you?

Sometimes my voice irritates me. I'm not talking about the words I say, but more the words I think and write. It's strange to me how much I think and then filter out before I actually write something. Then after all that consideration, I'm frustrated with what has come out and I wonder if I should have just kept it all as thoughts. Obviously I'm referring to my latest post, but I'm also thinking in general about the things I choose to say and write. I like to think that I choose my words wisely and think consciously about what I am going to say before I say it, yet sometimes the garble that eventually comes out doesn't fit together nearly as well as all the thoughts I had. Other times I frantically record my thoughts and the voice that turns up is one that seems more like me, yet artificial in some respects. I find little cliches and ways of speaking that I don't really think in my head. I guess I just picked them up from actually conversing with people. So I have this strange limbo between my real voice that is a lot more like my thoughts and annoys me, and I have this social voice that fits in and sometimes feels more natural but is mostly unnatural. Now I wonder which voice I'm using right now. Hm.

Buse Street

We are happily moved into our new place--the duplex on Buse. The housing drama is over and our cozy little home is wonderful. What else can I say? I'm pleased as a peach. :)

I wonder what this apartment will mean to me in the future when I look back on it. I think of the last place where we were so happy to be back in Oregon that we accepted living in a perpetual wetness. The place before that was back in Utah and we always felt like we were on vacation because for those 3 short months of summer we swam in the pool and relaxed in the hot tub almost every night. Then before that was our first place. Our first home together. We became our own family there, unified but not isolated. I felt like part of a new world of families and adults with future careers, children, goals, and dreams. What a beginning! And the beginning continues. I wonder when things stop feeling like a starting point, a new place from which to plunge forward into a bright future.

In any case, each place has revealed a part of my character and identity. Discovering that connection and making memories in this new home will give me great satisfaction. And I begin again.